Oh, you know, BIG NEWS.

After a rough and wonderful year, half of me is left feeling on top of the world, and the other half of me feels stomped upon.

So, naturally, I'm moving to Ohio.

I know what you're thinking, "Ohio, Hannah? Rubber Capital of the World? But why?"

Well, I think that being around so much rubber will help me find true---

OH WHO AM I KIDDING MY BEST FRIENDS ARE THERE.

When my two very dear friends, James and Amber, left California a while back, I was devastated. I miss them. They've always been such a huge part of my support system and it's hard not having them around. They're getting married and all I want is to be there for the planning and the wedding fun (I'm a uke-slinging bridesmaid!)

So, come June, I'll be shipping off to Ohio for 6-months-ish.
I'll be playing music with James Pequignot, planning weddings with Amber, and just working on relaxing. It's something that I really think I need and that will be beneficial to my music and myself.

I'll always want to live in California, no doubt about it. 

So, in the infamous words of our Governor,
"I'll be back."

It's the new year, bitches.

It's 2011. Wow.

Where did 2010 go? It seems only yesterday that Justin Beiber was vocally molesting 40-somethings and their daughters, and Glee was just starting to take over.

Oh. What's that? That was yesterday?

Well, then what have you been up to this year so far? Make any spicy resolutions? Do some sort of "deep cleanse" to flush out the mythical toxins that are running throughout your body?

Or maybe you've given a hefty middle finger to the new year and taken advantage of the comfort of your own bed, simultaneously sobbing and laughing over old episodes of Friends while you begin Google searches for "things wrapped in bacon?"

Okay, that may just be me.

But when I'm not cursing my Jewish heritage, I'm working on promoting my debut EP, "Better."

Hurry over to bandcamp and download your very own special copy now.

It would make me the happiest little social leper ever.

Happy New Year, everyone. Still.

Sincerely,

Hannah

hannah vs. Hannah

One of the first things you learn about the Deaf culture is the difference between deaf and Deaf.

"deaf" implies the physical handicap. A deaf person acknowledges it as a disability. A hearing person might more often than not see a deaf person; a person defined by a "disability." A Deaf person, on the other hand, from what I've learned, is a person who has accepted who they are and even more so are proud of it.

I'm struggling in a fight against my former self. This year has been simultaneously the best and worst of my life to date. And I imagine that the next year will be the same. And the year after that. It's always going to be a mixture of the good and the bad, it's how you shift it and how you use it to your advantage that matters.

"hannah", if you will, wants to bury herself in delusions. She believes that if you just pick at something over and over again that it will become what you want it to be. She destroys lasting friendships to pursue a singular course of fantasy.

"Hannah", on the other hand, took over a year to completely come to fruition (Well, really, she took about 21 years to complete, but for our purposes--). It took a complete cleanse of everything to get her to that capital letter. To the point where she was proud of who she was and proud of what she knows and proud of what she will do.

I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud that I've had to make difficult decisions in my life. I'm also proud to have so much help along the way. However, the way I used to be keeps popping in for a visit here and there. It's like that relative, that skeezy second cousin who only comes around on a holiday where gifts are exchanged. You don't really have any control over them being there, all you can do is humor them and count the seconds until they go away.

hannah was the worst possible version of myself. And unfortunately I'm seeing her more and more over the last few weeks. I'm single-handedly destroying the most meaningful friendship I have.

Hannah won't let that happen. So, publicly, I am sorry. I am sorry for poking and prodding where I didn't belong. I am sorry for pushing away the well wishes and sympathy of others for the well wishes and sympathy I will never get. I am sorry for not dropping things that ought be dropped.

It took long enough to get me to this point, I can't afford to backtrack now.

In other news, I fainted in the middle of a grocery store, I've regained my addiction to sparkling apple cider, and Tron is amazing.

Happy New Year, everyone.