Do you ever think to yourself...

"...if this doesn't happen, I don't know if I'll make it?"

It's exhilarating and crippling and horrifying and uplifting to have so much love and passion for something intangible. When you make it your personal mission to bring that, the idea, the thought to fruition you put so much of yourself into it that even the slightest bump in the road hits you like a knife to the chest.

That's where I am at this point.

My head is close to exploding with plans and thoughts and ideas and hopes and I thought I had found the perfect way to organize them and execute them and this past week, these next few weeks are going to prove trying on the will to do just that. I worry that now that I've finally gotten "serious" and am willing to drop my entire life to make this happen, that everything else I need to make this a reality will drop off into nothingness and I'll be left alone.

Well let's just open this up: I can't do this without you.
I can't do this without my friends.
I can't do this without myself.

So note to self: Carry on!

I find that when I get upset and frustrated I have a tendency to drop whatever I'm doing and work with my hands; draw something, paint something, build something. It's all in hopes to distract me from whatever is hurting, sometimes it helps. This time I decided to paint my first mural on one of the walls in my room. It has no particular purpose, and I'm by no means a visual artist. In fact, I've shyed away from graphic arts for most of my life because I really don't have any kind of gift for it, but hey, any excuse for me to play with paint.

Is there something intangible that you feel so passionate for you feel like the very thought of losing the ability to express it would destroy you? How do you keep on working towards your goals when it seems like you're on your own?

I could use all the advice I can get.


"...because this is me, saying words I actually mean. I won't compromise this thing just to make it..."

-Bryce Avary (The Rocket Summer)

This is just a short, little blip to remind you all of something:
There are times to be technical, but there is a fine line between being technical and being mechanical.

Don't ever forget that you probably play music, or draw, or write, or paint, or dance because it gives you that Red-Bull-Gives-You-Wings feeling. Just about everyone dreams of making money doing something they love and although I don't believe there is a crime in that, just be certain that on your chosen career path you don't lose sight of why you started.

For me, I entered into a union with music the first time I ever sang on stage. 'Til death do us part, I am committed to always having a portion of my life devoted to music, and in return music will always make me happy.

I'm very much into an "art for art's sake", mentality. And hey, maybe that's why I'll never "make it" as a musician. Maybe that's why I'll play open mic nights and graduation parties for the rest of my life. But you know, I'm sure that after I play my 100th batmizvah, my ukulele will still give me the feeling of that unbreakable bond that music and I have. 

That's the greatest thing about art, about music: Even if you don't know a song, even if you mess up on the lyrics or chords, music is still there to always pick up where you left off.

"No matter how bummed out you get on life, and how disconnected you feel from everything, music pulls you right back up and keeps you positive."